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I had a whole lot to say about Ian Desmond when he was first called up.  I rambled for a few sentences about Bowden on a Segway and how old youngster, Esmailyn Gonzalez really is.  He’s a Latin 20-something.  He’s also known as Carlos Lugo now.  This is brilliant.  How cool would it be if at least once a year a retired player tried to make a comeback under an alias?  Have you seen this new Dominican prospect for the Braves?

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If you search for fantasy baseball, the first result is Fantasy Baseball ESPN.  (We’re first for fantasy baseball blog. Natch!  Or natchurally, if you’re a completist.)  But this isn’t about fantasy baseball ESPN.  When people find us, they are not searching for fantasy baseball ESPN.  But what are they searching for when they find us?  Since it’s a holiday, I decided to break away from the normal schedule of fantasy baseball rookies and look at exactly that.  Here are 20 actual searches for people who find Razzball and my answers to their searches:

Ryan Braun has herpes?

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Los Angeles Dodgers 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2009)
2009 (23) | 2008 (6) | 2007 (6) | 2006 (2) | 2005 (2) | 2004 (2)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [95 – 67] NL West – best record in NL
AAA: [80 – 64] Pacific Coast League
AA: [ 65 – 74] Southern League
A+: [59 – 81] California League
A: [81 – 59] Midwest League
R: [24 – 32] Arizona League
R: [42 – 34] Pioneer League

The Run Down

After several years in the top 10, the Dodgers farm ranking fell significantly due to several trades (Manny Ramirez, Ronnie Belliard) and a significant lack of a promising young prospect.

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Excitement froth from my mouth last year when I wrote, “Jason Heyward, besides having the surname of a 1930s matinee idol, has the mitts of a Yeti and the sturdies (<– that’s legs) of Frank Thomas.  His man gams are 117% oak.  Heyward just saved your life and you didn’t even know you were in danger.  Look over your left shoulder — quickly!  See that shadow shrinking out of the room?  That was Heyward.  He’s now going to Ireland to sing harmony with that Once guy.  So being a globetrotting, harmonizing, crime fighting love child of a Yeti and Frank Thomas is all well-and-good, but can the the Braves outfield prospect, Jason Heyward, help you in fantasy baseball leagues in 2009?

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In our ongoing 2010 fantasy baseball rookie look, we bring you a name I went over as recently as August in a Neftali Feliz keeper post.  Thank you for reading from The Department of Redundancy Department!  Because he still falls in the rookie category (under 50 innings pitched), I must, I must increase my Neftali Feliz fuss.  Feliz went to the Rangers from the Braves in the trade of Teixeira.  (Also included in that trade was Elvis Andrus, Matt Harrison and Jarrod Saltymochachino.  This was the last major move by Schuerholz.  It’s like when your boss at El Pollo Loco tells you in the morning that today is your last day, then you replace the shredded cheese with your pubic hair and rob the cash register, leaving a note that says, “It was the new guy.”  Schuerholz left that note for Frank Wren.)  Feliz proceeded to cruise through the minors — in 276 innings, he had 325 Ks and a 3.03 ERA and 1.19 WHIP.  Then he dominated in the majors — in 31 innings, 39 Ks, 1.74 ERA and a 0.68 WHIP.  What’s next?  The moon!  Gravity’s for junk ball throwers!  But, first, let’s look at what we can expect from Neftali Feliz in 2010 fantasy baseball.

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Grady Sizemore had arthroscopic surgery on his left elbow back in September. It was deemed a success and here we are a little under ten weeks later and the team says he’s near 100%.  I’m not a doctor, but my first instincts are to say the team is lying.  That’s the way I like to lean.  A real skeptic.  What do you expect from someone with a mustache?  Have you ever met an optimistic mustachioed man?  Of course not, they’d shave if they were an optimist.  Crotchety, curmudgeony and other words found in a thesaurus.  Now even if the team is lying, it’s November and Sizemore is already “near 100%.”  I have to think that’s a lot better than the team lying that he’s “near 100%” in February.  Am I right or am I right-right or am I right-right-right?  Another positive thing to note, Sizemore had hernia surgery mid-September and he’s already running and working out in the Tribe’s spring complex.  So what can we expect of Grady Sizemore for 2010 fantasy baseball and is he a keeper?

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Carlos Santana is getting a 2010 fantasy baseball rookie post because I know people will ask about him.  See, I’m psychic.  BTW, I wouldn’t bring in the mail today.  Just a bunch of bills and a 20% off coupon for Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Carlos Santana is the catcher prospect the Dodgers traded to the Indians for Casey Blake.  TMZ reported Jamie McCourt did the aforementioned trade because Carlos Santana looks eerily similar to Edward James Olmos, who was Frank McCourt’s reason for watching “every single, goddamn Miami Vice rerun.”  Only later did Mrs.

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Seattle Mariners 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America:
2009 (24) | 2008 (11) | 2007 (24) | 2006 (27) | 2005 (11) | 2004 (12)

Records of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [85 – 77] AL West
AAA: [74 – 70] Pacific Coast League
AA: [62 – 78] Southern League
A+: [83 – 57] California League
A: [69 – 68] Midwest League
A(ss): [39 – 37] Northwest
R: [28 – 36] Appalachian League
R: [33 – 22] Pioneer League

The Run Down
Seattle had a massive turn around from 2008 when they were 61 – 101.

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Last year, Brandon Allen treaded his six-two, two-hundred and thirty-five pound man-gams through Double- and Triple-A before hitting the majors in August.  And by hitting the majors, I don’t mean hitting in the majors.  As Lil Jon once said in grade school, I come correct with my prepositions, okaaaay!!!!!  In the minors in 2009, Allen slashed .298/.373/.503 with 20 homers, cutting his strikeout rate for the 2nd year in a row.  However, that didn’t carry over to the majors, whiffing 40 times in 104 at-bats.  Though, that was a small sample size… that’s what she said!

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Last year, Desmond Jennings won the Rays Minor League Player of the Year honors.  In Double and Triple-A in 2009, Desmond Jennings had a slash line of .305/.391/.457 while chucking in 11 homers.  You might be thinking it was a slow year in the Rays organization.  Yeah, the opposite is true here, friend.  Jennings stole 52 bases.  (His minor league ups and downs were broken down further in a Scouting the Unknown in June.)  To recap, 11 homers and 52 steals.  HAVE MY CHILDREN!  Whoa, Mr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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