Fantasy Baseball Advice

I can picture Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking, Is this a Great Game, or What?!. Joe Morgan won’t be invited. Bill James will throw out the first pitch. A nickname like Baseball Crank will be worn as a badge of honor. Someone will argue that Pat Burrell isn’t really that bad of a baseball player and make a perfectly logical argument. Everyone will be wearing a lazy frown yet be completely happy. So why does Santana start the All-Star Game in our world instead of in The Real World where he wasn’t even invited? (Not The Real World: Hollywood, which lost two key members of its cast, and now sputters towards a reunion.) Quality Starts this year: Haren, Hudson and Lincecum are tied for first with 15. Santana (it’s safe to say Santana would’ve got another QS last night if not for rain) is #2 with 14. Webb and Volquez win the bronze with 13. Yet, Haren and Santana are tied for 15th in wins with 8. Listen to some with 10 wins — Lohse, Nolasco, Cook, Padilla, Floyd (not Bannister) and, of course, Andy Sonnanstine. Okay, but what does this have to do with fantasy baseball? Everything, you schmohawk! If any potential trade partner thinks any of those guys gets to twenty wins, then you politely agree and rob them blind. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dustin McGowan – Placed on the McDL. I’d look McElsewhere. He’ll be an interesting sleeper (as they say in the biz, whatever biz this is) next spring.

Scott Linebrink – It was annonced he would fill-in for closer. So, of course, Dotel got the save. Yeah, that works. Thanks. If I was looking for a few saves, Dotel would now be the man I’d target.

Ryan Spilborghs – To the DL with an oblique strain. Doctor, I have an oblique problem. Well, Ryan, why don’t you just be more specific? Oofa!

Derek Lowe – Almost pitched a perfect game. Sounds like Alyssa Milano’s giving herpes to someone tonight.

Scott Hairston – HR yesterday. Guess how many he has. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Wrong! 14. You ready for a double dose of brain freeze? You would’ve got better production if you drafted the Hairstons instead of the Uptons. Ow, my temples hurt! Wait, here comes the knuckler — ESPN: The Magazine should’ve featured the Hairston brothers on their baseball issue instead of the Uptons. Stop, Grey, my eyes are bleeding from these sentences that make no sense!

Moises Alou – Still battling nicks and crannies. Probably has something to do with him being 84-years-old and older than his father.

Nick Markakis – I am Sparkakis!

Jonathan Sanchez – Got a tough break when the rain came and forced his start to get cut short. He could’ve went another two innings. Or not! What am I, psychic?

Carlos Quentin – 2 HRs. I see no reason why he can’t hit 5 home runs a month from now until the end of the year aka 35 HRs total also also known as 14 more HRs.

Garrett Atkins – 2 HRs. Now has 14 on the year, I say he ends with 27. That’s less than most think, making him a Buy Low of Moderate Proportions.

Mark Mulder – In the forums, Peter had this to say, “Mulder recorded one out in the top of the 1st, walked 2, then left the game with an injury…. On the bright side, neither of the runners scored… so it is arguably Mulder’s most effective start since May 17, 2006.” It’s funny, because it’s true.

Josh Hamilton – He gets high on K-Rod’s supply.

Juan Rivera – Hit his third home run and this is officially the last time I will mention him. Some other guys I officially stopped talking about this season are Carlos Quentin, Josh Hamilton, Dioner Navarro, Shane Victorino, Eugenio Velez… Okay, they weren’t all gems. (BTW, Velez just got recalled and Bochy said something like this (I don’t feel like looking up the exact quote), “Velez might get to pinch run, but that’s about it.” Seriously, he said something like that. Ouch, right? What? Without the actual quote it loses its oomph? You look it up then.)

Lance Berkman – 2 steals, now 14 on the year. Berkman is making a strong case for Fantasy MVP, if they gave out an award for that shizz. His numbers so far 76/22/70/.348/14. He will absolutely kill some fantasy owners next year when he’s drafted too early.

Jeff Francoeur – You ride out Player A for three months through the worst slump of their career, then you drop Player A on Friday when they are demoted to the minors. Now Player A returns three days later and, in his second game back, he hits a home run. Do you pick up Player A again? Or do you risk watching Player A perform well on someone else’s team? Within the answer to this question is your very existence. If you pick up Player A again, you’re the type to give people lots of chances, including girlfriends. Sure, she slept with my best friend, but she was thinking about me. Sometimes this leads to people walking all over you. You’ll think you’re happy, but you won’t actually be for your entire life. Now if you’re the type that doesn’t pick up Player A, you’re tough as nails, and no one walks over you. You also distance yourself from people and don’t cut people enough slack. We broke up because she talked during the opening fifteen minutes of Goodfellas. NOBODY’S allowed to talk during that. You’ll probably find yourself cold and alone for the rest of your life. And that my friends is the Intro to the Tao of Frenchy. You’re welcome.

With visions of a goat, Bartman and a fat man, the Cubs traded for Rich Harden. The Cubs are so my neighbor that bought a Prius after I bought my Saab. Seriously, Cubbies, why don’t you build a bigger extension onto the side of your house too? Then when I have a Fourth of July party, I can urinate in your tomatoes. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, Rich Harden! Harden’s never pitched 200 IP in a season. He came close four years ago with 189.2. Since then Harden’s innings pitched look like this: 128, 46.2, 25.2 and 77 thus far this year. I guess it’s a good sign that he got over that 46.2 hump. If the Cubs plan to play late into October, then he’ll be way over 200. From a fantasy baseball prospective, this all means little. Harden goes to a less-friendly park, but a new league that isn’t familiar with him. That’s a push. His stuff is certifiably nasty, but he still can hurt himself sneezing. You know what Harden is? He’s untradeable. I just wrote this last Friday when I said Harden was a Sell, “Not sure who you’re selling (Harden) to…” The Cubs, I suppose. How do the Cubs make this move? They traded for a guy my 12 year old cousin, Little Stevie, wouldn’t touch and Aunt Caroline used to drink while pregnant with him! I like Gaudin and Gallagher better and I will be bidding a few dollars on them in deep leagues. I even like Murton better. If the Cubs waited two weeks to make this trade, it probably wouldn’t have happened because Harden will probably be on the DL. I’m going to make a prediction, Harden hits the DL and the Cubs end up slotting in Gaudin who turns into a quality pitcher and ends up starting in the playoffs. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ben Sheets/CC Sabathia – Now that the Cubs can match their frail righty (Harden) and tubby flamethrower (Zambrano), will the Cardinals ask the Yanks for Ponson back to team up with Carpenter later this year?

Bobby Jenks – Hater Bell was mystified last week when Karabell told everyone (who pays for ESPN’s Hindsighter™) to bank on Jenks. Jenks has been reporting back pain for over a week. Linebrink (or Thornton or Dotel) will step in and get some saves. This didn’t seem like rocket science to me, but maybe it was for Karabell. Now Jenks heads to the DL. Well, dur.

Miguel Cabrera – 2 HRs yesterday. In three years, you’ll be telling someone about how Cabrera wasn’t good for you back in ’08 and they’ll look at his stats and say, “Nuh-uh.” And then you’ll say, “Didn’t the Martians say we couldn’t use the phrase, ‘Nuh-uh? Busted!’”

Mike Pelfrey – Another quality start (7 IP, 3H, no ER).  Granted, it was against the Giants, but still…. Actually, I’m still not buying into Pelfrey.

Mike Aviles – 4-for-7 or as I like to say, “Khalil Greene has only had two 3 hit nights all year.” What I also could’ve said, “Greene is 3-for-22 in July.” Which means, “I hate Tulo for making me play Greene in a deep league.”

Aubrey Huff/Joe Crede – How do these guys have 34 HRs between them (18 for Huff, 16 for Crede)?  Those would’ve been our over/unders for their full season totals.  Maybe ex-Devil Ray Huff is getting some of the good fortune befitting his old team.  Wait…Jorge Cantu is having a hell of a season.  How come Delmon hasn’t gotten the memo?  As for Crede, we give up.  He’s like the younger Mike Lowell.  He can hit .250 or .300.  15 HR or 35 HR.  Play 150 games.  Play 60 games.  Nothing surprises anymore.  Hear that.  You can’t surprise us any more.

Randy Wolf – Another quality Petco start with 7 IP of 1 ER ball.  He’s like a wolf when he pitches at home and like Randy Wolf when he pitches away.

Alexis Rios – I missed the Jays last night because I was watching “I Love Money.” (Bee tee dubya, it’s a new reality show high. They’ve brought back 15 of the “best” reality show contestants who were looking for money while they were supposedly looking for love. Only now they are being open about it being all for money, but it looks like some inadverently fall in love. However, the first time it was obvious they were only interested in money and some fell in love anyway. It’s like a Möbius strip of nonsense. But I digress.) So all I saw of the Jays was this scroll, “Rios scored the game-winning run in the bottom of the ninth…” I was like, “Aw, sookie. Triple, Double? Single?” It was a walk.

Jair Jurrjens – 6 IP, 6 Ks, 1 ER, the win and the saving grace for the proud people of Curaçao.

Brian McCann/Geovany Soto – They are having nearly identical seasons. Brianvany SotoCann should totally switch Varsity jackets and see if their dates notice.

Dustin McGowan – I warned people about McGowan’s overuse last season. Yesterday, he exited early for an MRI. Quick math problem: An MRI + Overuse = 15-day DL that gets extended to 30 days.

Chase Headley – 24 Ks/0 walks. He’s really not much better than Bruce, it just seems it because it’s a little less feast or famine (which is, like, soooooo American of you to like Headley more. It’s the middle class.)

Ryan Dempster/Justin Duchscherer – 16 IP, 4 hits allowed and 1 ER. Combined. If you made us GM for a year, we’d turn all the relievers into starters.  Except Gagne.  We’d turn him into a team mascot like the Quazy Quebecois.

Aaron Harang – Fuck you.

The Fantasy Baseball Hall of Fame in conjunction with Razzball.com, are electing the All-Star teams of the Fantasy Era. For every season from 1980 to today full 23 man rosters will be created and analyzed. In the second installment the 1983 through 1985 seasons are identified.

Year: 1983
First Time All Stars: 11 – John Denny, Carlton Fisk, Pedro Guerrero, La Marr Hoyt, Jack Morris, Jesse Orosco, Jim Rice, Dave Stieb, Lou Whitaker
3 Time All Stars: 5 – Cecil Cooper, Andre Dawson, Rickey Henderson, Eddie Murray, Robin Yount
5 Time All Stars: N/A
10 Time All Stars: N/A
Future FBHOF’ers: 8 – Steve Carlton, Dawson, Henderson, Dale Murphy, Murray, Tim Raines, Cal Ripken, Yount.
Snubs: Ron Guidry (8.5), Lloyd Moseby (10.9), Mike Schmidt (11.1), Willie Upshaw (11.2)
16 Pt Season: 1 – Murphy (16.6)

By 1983 several players had emerged as recurring fantasy greats. Steve Carlton, Cecil Cooper, Rickey Henderson, Eddie Murray, and Robin Yount each were elected to their 4th consecutive All-Star team, and all but Cooper would eventually be inducted into Fantasy Baseball Hall of Fame. Cooper falls just short of FBHOF requirements only since his 5th best season came one year before the 1980 cutoff.

On offense, Dale Murphy was king, enjoying his best season as a professional – .302, 131 R, 36 HR, 121 RBI, and 30 SB for the #1 batter ranking that year. His 16.6 FBHOF points rank 16th in the fantasy era. The rest of his outfield peers were solid themselves, finishing 9th in the positional rankings from 1980-2007. Two other stars of the 1970’s – Jim Rice and Dave Winfield – joined FBHOF’ers Tim Raines and Andre Dawson to give the outfielders an average of 13.5 points between them.

The 1983 bullpen ranks #1 all time. The names do not conjure up memories of the best seasons ever, but from a fantasy standpoint Dan Quisenberry, Jesse Orosco, and Al Holland delivered over 340 innings of 0.99 WHIP, 1.88 ERA baseball, along with 26 wins and 87 saves.

Starting pitching was relatively weak as Mario Soto, the #1 starter, had just 13.5 FBHOF points, the 5th worst mark for the #1 pitcher in a given year. He’s joined by first time All Stars Jack Morris, La Marr Hoyt, John Denny, and Dave Stieb. FBHOF’er Steve Carlton is the 6th starter, though this was his last great year.

Joe Altobelli’s Baltimore Orioles would win the World Series in 1983, topping the Philadelphia Phillies in just 5 games. Murray and Ripken are their representatives.

Positional Ranking Among the 28 Teams
C: 7th
IF: 21st
OF: 9th
SP: 21st
RP: 1st
Overall: 9th

Year: 1984
First Time All Stars: 8 – Tony Armas, Bert Blyleven, Mike Boddicker, Dwight Gooden, Willie Hernandez, Don Mattingly, Tony Pena, Juan Samuel
3 Time All Stars: 5 – Dale Murphy, Cal Ripken, Mike Schmidt, Mario Soto, Tim Raines
5 Time All Stars: 2 – Eddie Murray, Rickey Henderson
10 Time All Stars: N/A
Future FBHOF’ers: 9 –Gooden, Henderson, Mattingly, Murphy, Murray, Raines, Ripken, Ryne Sandberg, Schmidt
Snubs: Bud Black, Jim Rice
16 Pt Season: None

1984 wasn’t a prime year for great baseball lines and it shows when constructing the fantasy All Star squad. Instead of an all time great Mike Schmidt leading the league in home runs like he did in 1983, it was Tony Armas. Instead of Jim Rice and the RBI crown, it was Armas again. Dale Murphy was a stud in 1983, amassing 16.6 FBHOF points after batting .302 with 131 R, 36 HR, 121 RBI, and 30 SB. One year later the best line in fantasy was just 13.6 FBHOF points when Ryne Sandberg batted .314 with 114 R, 19 HR, 84 RBI, and 32 SB.

Two young players from New York did have a major impact on the game however, and would eventually become greats, if just for a short period of time. In the National League, Dwight Gooden threw his first major league pitch in April, becoming one of the finest pitchers in baseball over the next 3 or 4 years. The same is true for the Yankees first basemen, Don Mattingly, who won a batting title and drove in 100 runners in his first full time season.

Overall though, the Infielders, Outfielders, and Staring Pitching all rank in the lower half of FBHOF scoring, with the latter two positions coming in with some of the worst scores on record.

A positive about 1983, and of the period between 1982 and 1985, was the quality of the catching crew. The only better 4 year period of the fantasy era was 1997 to 2000 thanks to the likes of Mike Piazza and Ivan Rodriguez. In the early 80’s it was six time All Star Gary Carter (and he’s not in the Fantasy Baseball Hall of Fame?) along with Lance Parrish and Carlton Fisk, both three time all stars.

In the World Series the Detroit Tigers cemented their place in history as one of the great single season teams, winning 104 games and easily dispatching the San Diego Padres 4 games to 1. Not one regular Tiger is on this team, though closer Willie Hernandez was spectacular, reaching 10.5 FBHOF points thanks to a line of 140 IP, 9 W, 0.94 WHIP, 1.92 ERA, and 32 saves. Those were the days for relief pitching.

Positional Ranking Among the 28 Teams
C: 5th
IF: 15th
OF: 26th
SP: 27th
RP: 2nd
Overall: 22nd

Year: 1985
First Time All Stars: 9 – Kirk Gibson, Tommy Herr, Orel Hershiser, Bob James, Willie McGee, Donnie Moore, Dave Parker, Bret Saberhagen, John Tudor
3 Time All Stars: 3 – Dale Murphy, Cal Ripken, Fernando Valenzuela
5 Time All Stars: 3 – Gary Carter, Rickey Henderson, Eddie Murray
10 Time All Stars: N/A
Future FBHOF’ers: Dwight Gooden, Henderson, Don Mattingly, Murphy, Murray, Cal Ripken, Saberhagen, Ryne Sandberg, Valenzuela
Snubs: Tim Raines (11.5)
16 Pt Season: Henderson (16.6), Gooden (18.3)

This was a fun team to explore, one riddled with great seasons. Only 1997 saw more 15-point campaigns, and 1985 is also ranked 4th in 10-point seasons. Rickey Henderson, Dwight Gooden and Don Mattingly were each at the height of their successes while Orel Hershiser, Eddie Murray, and Dale Murphy were in the midst of their second best seasons of the Fantasy Era. Additionally, Gary Carter joins Henderson and Murray to create our first team with three 5-time all stars.

The standouts of 1985 were the infielders who combined to average 13.6 FBHOF points. In the 18 year period between 1877 and 1996, Don Mattingly was the only major leaguer to drive in 145 runners; Sandberg stole 54 while contributing 26 HR and 113; George Brett went .335 / 108 / 30 / 112; Ripken hit 26 HR and had 100+ R & RBI; and finally, Murray drove in 124 and hit 31 HR. Only middle infielder Tommy Herr had less than 12 FBHOF points and he was very good regardless – .302 AVG, 97 R, 110 RBI, 31 SB. Only one infield of the fantasy era ranked better, the 2005 squad of Albert Pujols, Alfonso Soriano, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Young, Derek Lee, and Chone Figgins.

The outfield was great too, ranking 6th overall. Again, only one player scored less than 12 FBHOF points and their collective average stats were 110 R, 28 HR, 100 RBI, and 32 SB.

While not exactly week, starting pitching was an area where the 1985 team did not rank well above average. Gooden was amazing – 277 IP, 24 W, 0.97 WHIP, 1.53 ERA, 268 K and John Tudor and Hershiser made a formidable 1-2-3, but at the tail end Bret Saberhagen and Bert Blyleven couldn’t match Gooden’s FBHOF score between them. And for the first time not a single closer reached 6.5 points, ranking 23rd of 28 teams.

The Kansas City Royals, thanks in large part to All Stars Brett and Saberhagen, bested the St. Louis Cardinals in a hard fought 7 game series. Cardinal All-Star and starting pitcher Tudor, was shelled after two great performances in games 1 & 4.

Positional Ranking Among the 28 Teams
C: 3rd
IF: 2nd
OF: 6th
SP: 13th
RP: 23rd
Overall: 4th

What’s the ultimate slumpbuster? Some players and the Urban Dictionary would argue a fat chick. The Braves know the true answer. A weekend in Mississippi. Jeff Franceour went 7-for-13 with 2 RBIs in three minor league games before the Braves decided his mind was messed with enough and they returned him to the majors. Maybe tomorrow they’ll call Francoeur into the front office to tell him his Mom died only to then say, “Psyche!” Francouer hasn’t changed overnight. He’s a hacker who can hit, but with less power than you’d think. Assuming he gets back to form, he should hit a pro-rated 90-100 RBIs before end of the year. But there hasn’t been much in his peripherals that promise that. Worth holding onto or gambling on, but he’s definitely marked down vs. his preseason value. Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ryan Church – May not return this year because of persistent migraines. Perhaps his head would toughen up if Moises Alou peed on it.

Torii Hunter – His 2 HR day puts him on pace for his yawnstipating 20/20 season (22/17 to be exact). But he’s only on pace for 77 RBIs – this has more to do with the anemic Angels offense than double-i, but it’s still pretty pathetic for the AL. Didn’t Sizemore get this many last year from the leadoff spot?

Chris Davis – HR yesterday. Until further notice, I’m only starting him when he’s at home, unless it’s a short schedule day.

Manny Parra – Pitched an inning of relief in the Rockies game yesterday. I mentioned in the forums that I think it was just his throw day. Later, Suppan was put on the DL to make room in the rotation. We’re all good, gang.

Damaso Marte – Notched a save, his second. I see no reason why he can’t get to 15 saves.

Ubaldo Jimenez – Ubaldo was solid last year, if you remove a mediocre September. He looked good in his last start and he was good last night (7 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 7 Ks). He might go on a two month stretch where he can be very usuable. He gets the Mets this Saturday.

Jack Wilson – The Dodgers “have zeroed in on Jack Wilson to replace Rafael Furcal.” Zeroed has never been more apt a description for a trade target.

Josh Johnson – Scheduled to start against the Dodgers on Thursday. Josh Johnson hasn’t pitched in so long that we’re not sure if he played Casey in Dawson’s Creek. Would Katie Holmes start him? I don’t think so.

David Ortiz – He took batting practice today. Supposedly he’ll be ready just after the All-Star break. I’d say August.

Adam LaRoche – It’s the 2nd half so it’s time for LaRoche to hit. 11 for 21 w/ 2 HR and 9 RBI in the last 7 games. Why don’t the Pirates insist he play winter ball?

Nomar Garciaparra – HR yesterday. Nomar gave Mia the game ball, but that didn’t stop her from making a scene in the parking lot when Nomar told her that he drank half a beer after the game. Not on a school night!

Adrian Beltre – As the Mariners languish in last, Beltre gets predictably hot.

Hiroki Kuroda – Ah-so this is why the Dodgers got him! Actually, he’s been solid all season aside from a few hiccups. Yesterday he pitched a one-hit, shutout.

Vladimir Guerrero – HR against the Rangers. That brings his career numbers against the Rangers to 22 HRs/.408 in 77 games. In related news, the Rangers pitching used to suck/still sucks/will suck.

Jason Varitek – Your backup AL all-star catcher! Between him and Jeter, the AL is packed with baseball IQ, a never say die attitude and you-just-can’t-put-your-finger-on-it-ness.

Late Sunday night, C.C. Sabathia was traded to the Brewers for the power-hitting prospect, Matt LaPorta. Since a 7.76 ERA in April, Sabathia has put up a 2.44 and a 1.90 in May and June respectively. In May and June, he had a 85/15 K/BB ratio. In interleague, 4 ER is 23 IP. However you look at the numbers, Fatty Fat Fat can pitch. In NL-only leagues, you drop your whole wad to acquire him. If your wad isn’t big enough, you trade to acquire Sabathia, if you need pitching. There’s no reason to think he’ll be anything less than dominant moving into the NL, unless Prince talks Sabathia into his new diet plan. Fielder, “Do you know the amount of trans fat in McDonald’s hamburgers?” Sabathia, “Nuh-uh. But I hope it’s a lot!” Now the Brewers just need to hire a bench coach to make sure Prince and Sabathia are never sitting on the same side of the bench. Oh, wait, I know who can do it — Seth McClung. He likely loses his rotation spot, but if that hurts your fantasy team, you got bigger problems. As for Matt LaPorta, he’s a power-hitting outfielder who should get the call up to the majors sooner rather than later. He was pegged as a three-outcome guy, see Dunn, Adam. It looks like he cut his Ks this year so maybe he’ll only be a two-outcome guy. Mmm…. walks and homers. That sounds delicious. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

J.J. Hardy – Hit two more home runs yesterday. Four weeks a year, J.J. Hardy reminds me of a young Miguel Tejada. Twenty weeks of the year, he reminds me of a muy stale Tecate. Imagine you’re a teacher and four weeks a year you teach the students well, knowing they are the future and blah-diddy, blah blah, then for the rest of the school year you just phone it in… Actually, now that I think about it, most of my teachers didn’t even make an effort four weeks a year. Well, there goes that argument. I suppose in many ways it’s better that Hardy gets all of his prodcution out of the way, now you can trade him in three weeks and get someone who will continue to produce.

Scott Linebrink – Got the save yesterday. As Hater Bell pointed out on Saturday, Bobby Jenks is hurting a bit right now and is no guarantee to be fine. He may be out until the All-Star Break. If you consider yourself a save vulture, this is old news. Go take a nap!

Cody Ross – Knocked in something like 55 runs in the four game series in Coors. Meanwhile, back on earth, the Marlins are looking to trade for a center fielder. That’s right; Cody Ross’s 15 home runs are so quiet his team doesn’t even know about them.

Juan Rivera – Mentioned him last week as a guy that could get hot and hit 15 to 20 home runs. He currently has 2 home runs; yesterday he hit his second of the week. (BTW, because I type with two fingers, yesterday is a super easy word to type. My WPM would probably be close to 60 if someone asked me to transcribe “Yesterday.” Since it seems like a pointless exercise and I don’t like The Beatles, I wouldn’t do it unless the money was right, which brings me to my reality show idea, Insipid Proposal. It’s Indecent Proposal for the easily entertained. You offer someone a penny to walk around the block. If they refuse, you raise the amount of money until they accept. I didn’t think they’d walk around the block for less than a dollar, but, wow, sixty-five cents! This show isn’t about skill, it’s about inanity. Now someone needs to make this happen.)

Oliver Perez – Perez and Kyle Kendrick in a pitcher’s duel? That’s why they play the games.

Nick Markakis – He is Sparkakis! 13th HR of the year and Markakis is a 2nd half player. Well, guess what? It’s the 2nd half.

Edinson Volquez – Got the win yesterday with 6 IP, 3 ER and only 3 Ks against the Nats. This shouldn’t be viewed as a good start. I’d still be selling.

Evan Longoria – 16th HR, he’s looking 2/3 Braun and only 1/3 Gordon or Ryan Braundon.

Chris Volstad – The Marlins pitching prospect was called up the other day and threw two innings of middle relief yesterday. Volstad will get the start on the 11th against the Dodgers. In a keeper league and an NL-only league, Volstad probably is gone by now. If I had room in a deep mixed league or if Yahoo adds him before the 11th (<—doubtful!), I’d take a flier, but keep expectations in check. Personally, he strikes me as Derek Lowe — third starter stuff.

Aaron Cook – I benched him in the one league I have him because the Broncos-Fins games the previous three days were out of control on offense. Cook ended up throwing 7 1/3 IP and 7 ER, but it would’ve been five if not for Cody Ross’s home run in the 8th. Everywhere you look, there Cody is.

Nate Robertson – 9 IP, 1 ER, one God-awful Mariners lineup.

Jon Garland – Garland a Tinseltown success! 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks in under 100 pitches. I actually yawned when I wrote that. Then again, it’s after 10pm on Sunday and I’m not really a night person. Not so much a morning person either. I’m an afternoon person. After 2pm and before 5pm, I’m pure razzle-dazzle.

Michael Bourn – Had an 0-for-7 yesterday with 3 Ks. I’m surprised how little the mainstream media is covering this, but Bourn’s actually putting together a tremendous Razzball season. 38/4/15/.218/76 Ks. He’s no Tony Pena Jr., but it’s nothing to sneeze at. (Not to mention, if you were to sneeze at him, from the way his season is going he’d probably get pneumonia from your sneeze germs.)