Fantasy Baseball Advice

Our favorite ESPN columnist, Eric Karabell, crapped out a turd baby as he took a look at some fantasy baseball expert drafts for 2008 (year 5768 for all the Jews researching who to draft besides Shawn Green). His non-take on Hanley Ramirez is really what got my goat, and no one gets my goat, but me. Let’s look to see what Karabell had to say:

I know some people who rank Hanley No. 1, over A-Rod, and I don’t call them crazy. Too many fantasy owners simply, and lazily, look at the 2007 stats and assume that’s what they’re getting. This isn’t the case at all. You’re getting 2008 stats, for better or worse.

Some analysts simply, and lazily, refuse to take a side for fear they’ll be wrong. Hanley is not going to do what he did last year.

A) He doesn’t take enough walks. Stats here, if you don’t believe me.

B) He swings wildly and injures himself. From September, 2007:

The Associated Press is reporting Florida Marlins SS Hanley Ramirez fanned on a high fastball and winced in pain as he dropped the bat during his follow through during the Sept. 3 game against the Washington Nationals.

Later in that month:

The Palm Beach Post’s Joe Capozzi reports Florida Marlins SS Hanley Ramirez is considering having shoulder surgery in the offseason and won’t play winter ball.

In October:

Juan C. Rodriguez, of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, reports Florida Marlins SS Hanley Ramirez underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left shoulder Wednesday, Oct. 3. Ramirez is not expected to be at full strength for the start of spring training.

C) The Marlins top paid player for 2008 is Jose Castillo. Hanley doesn’t even have Dontrelle to knock in anymore. Could Hanley try and do too much? He might.

Sure, Hanley is a bona fide talent. He can get you 20 homers and 40 steals, but he’s not as safe as Arod, Jose Reyes, Albert Pujols, David Wright, Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley. Frankly, I might consider Peavy or Johan safer. You want safety with your first pick; Hanley is not it. He has too many question marks.

In 2003, Bush stood in front of a banner declaring, “Mission Accomplished,” giving a speech announcing the end of major combat in Iraq. Also, in 2003, Mark Prior delivered a Cy Young-worthy season. From that point forward, Iraq and Prior’s casualty list rivals Nordberg from The Naked Gun movies. Now, in 2008, Mark Prior gets a fresh start for the Padres and there’s a presidential election. Reversal of fortunes, perhaps.

In 2003, Mark Prior, 22, won 18 games, had a 2.43 ERA and 245 strikeouts and started 30 games. Call up the Hall of Fame, we got ourselves a first-balloter! Since, he’s started a total of 57 games. But 2008 is a new year (literally, Happy New Year!), and Prior can get himself back to respectability. Respectability does not equal fantasy-worthy. He just had surgery in 2007 on his rotator cuff and repair was done to labral and capsular injuries. Arm injuries really aren’t good for pitchers. Prior has expressed he wants to be ready for Opening Day in 2008. Yeah, and I want play touch football over at the Kardashian’s house. Things don’t always work out. Then throw in the fact speculation is rampant that Prior should have been mentioned in the Mitchell Report, which makes conjecture say this:

Conjecture, “Prior was good in 2003 with steroids. Don’t draft him until he proves he can be good without steroids.”

That’s harsh, conjecture.

Conjecture, “But true.”

No, it’s conjecture. Dur.

Listen, I’d like to see Prior get back to what he once was, but I’m not drafting him praying he does. Let someone else take the gamble and REJECT.

Maybe draft him for your Razzball league. But then again, he probably won’t give you enough innings there, either.