I don’t think I’ve ever done this post before. My prior, uber, hard-line stance has been that you with that one hair wrapped around your head acting as a hairstyle don’t want to draft a sleeper 1st baseman. By the by, I tried to replace Uber with Lyft in the previous sentence, but it didn’t make sense. Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position. Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year I could see drafting a sleeper first baseman, though at my corner infidel or utility slot. Yes, I still want a top 1st baseman. No, utility slot doesn’t have multiple meanings. Yes, even for fantasy. As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted after the top 100 overall. I love Wil Myers, but he’s not going to appear here. Kapeesh? And, no, Kapeesh isn’t the Indian guy who works at the corner store. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2017 fantasy baseball:
C.J. Cron (ESPN 208, Yahoo 252) I’ve said this before and I will say it again right after I’m done awkwardly opening this blurb. Cron reminds me of Napoli on the Angels. For years, the Sciosciapath played Napoli in fewer games than he should’ve played him. I like to think The Sciosciapath was being hard on Napoli because they were both Italian catchers. By the way, ever notice how so many catchers are Italian? I think it’s because catchers need to make signs and Italians like to talk with their hands. Any hoo! Hopefully Cron gets 140 games and finally hits 25 homers.
Eric Thames (ESPN 229, Yahoo 264) I’m even lower on Thames than both big box sites, though, as I’ve mentioned before, the difference between 200 overall and 300 overall is nonexistent. If you’re at pick 200 and you need a 1st baseman, power and want upside, you’re choosing between guys in this post and what? Nothing, doode, that was a layup question. As I said the other day in my CBS draft recap, I even drafted Thames in a league. Not by design — or desiign, if millennials are reading — but because I wanted power and the price was right. Oh, and I know that CBS team has already lost, like, four guys. I hate early drafts.
Greg Bird (ESPN 247, Yahoo 257) Since I wrote the Greg Bird sleeper post, the Yankees signed Chris Carter. Bird should still get a majority of the at-bats in New York, but I can’t say I’m as excited about him as I once was. In fact, I have nothing more to say on him.
Josh Bell (ESPN 258, Yahoo NR) This bums me out to say, but Bell looks like the second coming of Brandon Belt. I will call him The High Priest, because high priests tie bells around their waist where a belt should be. At least they do in my head if I’m being too lazy to Google. The High Priest doesn’t strike me as a high power or speed guy, but should hit for a decent average and maybe chip in 15-17 HRs and 4-6 steals.
Justin Bour (ESPN 259, Yahoo 273) If you jumped out of DeLorean and told me you’re back here from October and Bour broke out this year with 30 homers, I’d say, “I’m not surprised, but what else do you have to report from the future? Are we still pledging allegiance to America? Is our new national anthem Putin on the Ritz?”
Tommy Joseph (ESPN 266, Yahoo 226) I’m owning Joseph everywhere this year. I’ve only drafted one team, but I know Joseph is going to be on a bunch of my teams, because not only do I love him (30-homer power, hello), but Rudy also loves him. When Rudy confirms my suspicions, I have no one to check and/or balance my crazed love. I’m unfettered!
Dan Vogelbach (ESPN NR, Yahoo NR) I already gave you a Dan Vogelbach fantasy and there I said, “Should we be excited about Schwarber multiplied by 1/2? Mini Schwarber? Kyle Nickelbach? There’s talk Vogelbach can’t play a position, but he’s penciled in as the starting 1st baseman for the Mariners as of right now, so *raspberries lips* to having no position. He’s always done nothing but hit for power in the minors: 23 HRs in Triple-A, while being somewhat of an Adam Dunn donkey-type. Power, no average and a high OBP. He hasn’t yet earned the nickname Ridonkey, but I really want to give that name to someone, so show me something, Kyle Nickelbach!” And that’s me quoting me! I also enjoy Prospector Ralph’s nickname for him, The Jelly Donut of Swat.
Mitch Moreland (ESPN 273, Yahoo 268) Guys and five girl readers, who’s platooning with Moreland? Brock Holt? Okay, he’s a Swiss Army knife, but at 1st base? He’s started there 13 times in three years. Plus, Holt is a lefty like Moreland! Is Hanley platooning with Moreland? I think the Sawx realize Hanley stretches off of first into the runner one too many times and is going to get himself killed. Josh Rutledge is going to play 1st? What is this, 2009 and I’m writing sleeper posts? Moreland isn’t exactly Ted Williams’ Frozen Head against lefties, but he’s going to play a lot, and he’s going to punish the Pesky Pole like Pee-Wee Herman punishes his pole.